the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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