So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
