you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
