btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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