ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
