you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
