Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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