the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize