ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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