I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
