..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
