idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
