I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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