David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
