He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
