Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You made out with two different species that night
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
