she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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