Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
pray to the hookup gods
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
