You work out of a Hotel?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i out mim tonsoeep
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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