did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
just tell him i said nine months
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
