I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
