I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize