I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
