So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
