One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
