i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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