why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
