i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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