every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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