of course. lets lasso hookers.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
