The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm like, not good at living.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
