Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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