I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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