i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
