I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
