1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Congratulations! We have a period
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