I could have mohawked her pubes.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
