Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
