Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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