I think scott just propositioned me for sex
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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