I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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