I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
