You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize