Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight

(1-905): View more from Toronto

i totally said that

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(941): View more from Florida

She is totally STD

(941): View more from Florida

Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell

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(309): View more from Illinois

I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance

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(519): View more from Ontario

All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.

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(804): View more from Virginia

it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter

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(818): View more from California

Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.

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