sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
