If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
