Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
