"it" just moved
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Two words: nipple clamps
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