Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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