I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
