he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
