Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
