So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
