I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
