Plan B is the new Plan A
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
