my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
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