I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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