I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
