Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
