I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
The air taste purple.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
