I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
