I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
