I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You can't special order awesome
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
