So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize