i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
