My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize