you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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