hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
