I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
