He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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