yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize