I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
