Don't you send me to vm
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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