In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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