I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
